The Adventures of Legs, Nose, and Mrs Robinson
by hollymariec0mbs
Summary: Mel, Amy, Rory, and Daleks. Need I say more?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first stab in the dark, I mean fanfiction. I have a bit of chapter 2 written already, so if you like this chapter, let me know and I'll post it. I do not really know where the story is going, but T to be safe.

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah Doctor Who is not my property, nor is any of its characters, etc.

Chapter 1

In high school, everyone is a nobody. We are all just a slight variation- or a hybrid, if you will- of chronic loser syndrome. There are the band geeks, the pre-Madonnas, the book sniffers, the jocks. High school is moderately diverse to be represented by a single meat head who calls the final plays in a skin on skin death match with a conical ball. You know, that meat head who swears he's straighter than a pastor's kid, and beats up anyone who so much as breathy oddly in his presence. What hybrid of nobody am I? Honey, if only I knew.

"Amy, I would love to go shopping with you- except- I'M A BLOKE! And I have band practice later."

"Oh really? Are we speaking of the band in which supposedly, you are lead guitarist extraordinaire?"

"Yes, exactly."

"Rory, you couldn't even play the recorder properly in grade school. There was a school-wide noise complaint, and you were assigned to an 'alternative' class."

"So? I can play. You'll see. My band will be spectacular, and then maybe you will think differently."

"Whatever, Rory."

Here's the thing about Rory, I love him, but he needs a boyfriend.

"Oi, Rory! Nice hair!"

I turned around a bit and saw none other than my other best friend Mel coming our way.

"And where were you?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure of the answer.

"Dean's office of course. Ms. Williamson- lovely lady-but a disappointing lack of imagination."

A story. A story in our youth is Mel's constant problem. It was my coping mechanism. _He_ was my coping mechanism. That raggedy man with his dislike of everything edible save fish fingers and custard.

"Mel, he isn't real."

"Your memories beg to differ."

"They were stories, Mel, _stories_! He was a figment of my imagination that I created, seeking attention, over my lack of parents!"

"You're just spouting the garbage those therapists told you."

I sighed loudly, exasperated. There was no getting through to Mel, ever. She either laughed at you outright, or ignored you completely when you questioned her beliefs.

"Where has that shaggy haired boy gotten to, anyway?" It was a few hours later, and Mel and I were sitting on my bed.

"Oh that 'band' he's in now sorely required his god-like lead guitarist finesse." Mel nodded, and I watched as she twirled the TARDIS model in her hands.

"You know, if you want that, you can have it."

"Nah. My foster dad would pitch it on sight. It's not worth it."

"You could always move in with me, my aunt wouldn't mind."

Mel was parentless, and when I pressed her for details on her life before Rory and me, she refused to say a single word on it.

"Hey, what's that noise outside?"

Amy and Mel took one look out the window and dashed to the door, the TARDIS model was flung over Mel's shoulder without a second thought onto the bed. They opened the door just a crack and heard,

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

"What the hell is that?!" Mel asked, stealing the exclamation from my head.

"I…I don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello again those lovely people who followed this story. I suppose it has taken an AU turn that I did not realize was coming until the very end. I hope you enjoy it, and if it you really enjoy it, please do not hesitate to share it with… well anyone really. I'm not picky. Oh and hint-hint, nudge-nudge, chapter 3 is already completely written, so any takers? By the way, sorry these chapters are so short. Chapter 3 is a tad bit longer just so you know. Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't, won't, but I wish I owned the characters or the TV series. That is all.

Chapter 2

"I'm calling Rory." I said pulling out my mobile.

"Come on, stupid-face! Pick up!"

"What?" A groggy voice finally answered.

"Rory! Rory, thank God. Where are you?!"

"Home, why?"

"Look out the window!"

"You're not going to ask me why I'm not at band practice?"

"Rory, enough about the band! Just go look out your window!"

"Alright, alright," He said muttering something about hormones and Scottish girls.

"Do you hear that?" I asked when the noises came again.

"Hear what?" he said grumpily.

"Open your front door, stupid-face!"

"I don't hear anything."

"Rory, could you come over here?"

"Alright, I suppose, have to check with the band… make sure they don't need me again later." I swiftly hung up on him. Stealing another glance out the window, I could still see a drove of- robots?- coming down the street.

"Is he coming?" Mel asked hesitantly, taking another furtive glance at the street outside.

"Yeah," I said, stepping back and swinging the door shut.

"What was that?" Mel jumped.

"Back door," I said, "It's probably Rory."

"He-hey," He said when I opened the door. He was breathing heavily and stuttered on his greeting.

"Did you run all the way here?"

"Yes," He proclaimed, puffing out his chest. I raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, no, just the last block," he admitted sheepishly.

"Well don't just stand there! Get in here, stupid-face!" I yanked him in by the collar of his shirt, and shut the door behind him. He stood there looking quite flustered.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," He said while turning away.

"Liar," Mel said, coming up behind us. I ignored her; there were more pressing matters at the moment.

"What I want to know is," I began, "What are those things, and why on earth do they have house-ware appliances for appendages?"

"What things? I mean- I heard some weird noises outside, but it's just some weird parade, right?" Rory said.

"If you had taken the sidewalk instead of poor Ms. Robbins' backyard, you would have seen- these… these robot things roving down the middle of the street." I scolded him.

"That's no parade. That's a full army of Daleks." Rory and I whipped around in shock, our mouths gaping open. Mel smiled.

"I told you. I _told_ you he was real!" Mel said pointing her finger in my face.

"Rory, are you seeing this?" Hoping I was hallucinating.

"Yeah… but this is just Mel's idea of a funny prank though, right…? He's not _actually_ real, is he…? He said trailing off at the end.

"Oh, I can assure you, I am quite real. Hello again, Amelia Pond." The Doctor winked and straightened his bowtie.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Once again, thank you for taking time out of your day to read my story. I appreciate it, I truly do. I like this chapter and it introduces the protectiveness the Doctor has of Amy. Please enjoy, and yes Chapter 4 is already completely written. Chapter 4 is even shorter than these other ones have been, but it is still important. I know what Chapter 5 is going to be about, so please stick around. Disclaimer: Honestly, I wish I could own the series or the characters, but sadly I don't, and I probably never will so there.

Chapter 3

"You were a story! It took me years to get over you!"

"Yeah, sorry about my lateness. The rift regulator got a bit… wibbly wobbly."

"Late! You said five minutes!"

"Like I said, rift regulator. Piece of rubbish."

"You never mentioned he was hot." Mel said, her eyes roaming up and down the Doctor's body.

"Oh shut up, Mel." I said. The Doctor winked at Mel and straightened his tie again.

"Alright, introductions are in order." The Doctor said loudly as he rubbed his palms together.

"You're the Doctor, time traveler, met Amy when she was seven, and I assume your… rift regulator is it? Is your cause of being a bit… late?"

"Yes. Right, well then. And who are you?"

"Mel."

"Fantastic. And you?" The Doctor asked. He put his hand in front of his face and mimed stretching his nose out.

"That's Rory. Now can you please explain to me what those things are, and why they are roaming the streets?" I asked testily.

"Yeah, is it a parade? I love parades." Rory said.

"That most certainly is not a parade. It is a full battle fleet of the most feared beings in the entire universe."

"Yeah, really terrifying. They'll make me a chocolate cake, and still have time to unplug the toilets." I quipped.

"Yes, well. It seems to me that they are mapping."

"They're what?" Rory finally got his two bits in.

"Mapping. They are seeing if the land is valuable enough to use."

"And if it is not?" I inquired.

"They'll kill us all. Alright then, time to get moving," he said, as he clapped his hands together and made for the door.

"What?!" I yelled, chasing after him. He ran out of the house. Quickly, he spun back around and pointed a silver thing at the door. The door began to swing shut, but I stuck a foot out to stop it. I reached the front porch and saw that the Doctor had already made it to the street. "Oh. These are rubbish excuses for Daleks. Not a proper battle fleet after all. Definitely mappers." He said while pointing his silver instrument at one of the robots. It was now making some high pitched noise and glowing on top.

"Oh, so the proper Daleks have arms then?" I called, wondering why he was hitting the silver thing in his hand.

"It's the funniest thing. Rift regulator goes wobbly, and suddenly the sonic is giving me grief."

"The sonic what?" I turned around, and gave Rory and Mel (who had just exited the house) my most exasperated-looking expression. Mel was beaming, and Rory was touching his nose, giving the robots a quick glance. I turned back around, just in time to see the Doctor jump in front of one of the robots, and wave his arms above his head like he had no control over them.

"EXTERMINATE!"

"DOCTOR!" I cried, "What are you doing?!"

"Identify me." The robot sat there appearing to be perplexed.

"Identify me, Dalek!"

"You are the Doctor." It finally croaked out in a ragged voice.

"That's right. What does protocol say?"

"Protocol dictates immediate capture of the Doctor, and any accomplices to the Doctor." Hearing this, I slowly walked backwards, hoping the Dalek hadn't noticed me.

"Red-haired female, halt!" I froze.

"Containment of Doctor and accomplice initialized." The Dalek rasped out as a blue shield surrounded the Doctor and me.

"DOCTOR!" I yelled.

"AMY!" Rory cried, rushing forward.

"No, shut your stupid-face, and get inside. Take Mel with you, go on. I'll be back." I assured him.

"Hold on tight," the Doctor said. "I suppose you wish you had stayed inside now?" He grinned and pocketed his 'sonic'.

"Shut it you. You're the one who got us into this mess!" There was a flash of light, and I thought it would be best to close my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I absolutely loved that episode. How can I not? Clara is pretty impressive. Anyway, I figured I might as well upload on Supernatural Saturday, but I probably won't be able to do it again until Monday or Tuesday. Chapter five is practically written in my head, but it still needs to go on paper. It will be from either Rory or Mel's view, or maybe third person narrator, I haven't decided yet. This one is the shortest of the bunch, but bear with me please. There is some sassy Amy dialogue in this one. Enjoy. Disclaimer: Don't own it. Any of it. It's quite sad really.

Chapter 4

There was a resounding thump as I felt my body hit something solid. My eyes were wrenched open by the impact.

"I wouldn't move if I were you." I heard the Doctor say somewhere off to the side.

"So tell me, Doctor, what is your plan?" I said tiredly, sitting up on my elbows slowly.

"Yes. Plan. Plan, right." He mumbled the sound of his sonic almost hiding his small response.

"You have no plan?" I said quietly. "You got us captured by alien robots, and you. Have. No. Plan?"

"Well, no. Not exactly a plan no. Just an idea." I sighed and laid my head back down. Suddenly, there was light flooding through my closed eyelids. My eyes shot open, and I promptly experienced a noticeable heart palpitation.

"Could you kindly explain to me, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY FACE?!"

"No broken bones. Might have a concussion though," He replied, waving the sonic above my body.

"What?" I said. His diagnosis sounded about right, my head hurt like Rory was playing the recorder as loud as he could in my ear. That stupid boy. I silently wished he was okay. Mel and him. I wished both of them we're alright.

"Based on the sonic's readings, we're in a fairly large building. Tile and plaster. Traces of ammonia in the air. I say we're in an abandoned hospital."

"Now I'm properly scared. I though those whisks and toilet plungers were frightening, but this… An abandoned hospital is a sure sign of world domination, don't you think?" He didn't appear to be listening. The Doctor was walking around hitting different parts of the surrounding walls. He hit one, and the sound reverberated.

"Sounds like plexi-glass," I said, sitting back up again and squinting.

"We seem to have landed in what used to be an OR room." I heard the tell-tale noise of the sonic again. The unmistakable sound of a lock clicking open soon followed. I sprung to my feet.

"Whoa," I said while seeing stars, "Bad idea." I clutched my head, willing the ringing of what felt like one hundred metal gongs in my head to cease.

"Definitely a concussion. Thanks for that, brilliant plan maker." I mumbled to myself. There was no other noise in the room.

"Doctor?" I called looking around the obviously vacant room.

"Yeah," He said, popping his head back through the doorway.

"Well come on then. You don't want to be the Daleks' prisoner forever, do you?" He said, grinning and slipping back out of the door.

"I think I might be safer with them than I am with you," I muttered, "Rory and Mel, I hope you're having a better day than me." I looked up at the ceiling, and rubbed my temples. Time to follow the madman/time traveler.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Alright, so I lied. You are not allowed to blame me, I had nothing else to do today. Anyway, this chapter is from Rory's point of view, and he has one line in here I'm really in love with. Next chapter will be back with Amy and the Doctor, I'm just not quite sure what is going to happen specifically. I'm all over it generally though. Please enjoy, and remember Supernatural Saturday is only like six days away! Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't own the show, just own the plot line, and the way everything goes.

Chapter 5

"Do you think they're okay?" I said stepping back from the window. The Daleks continued to patrol steadily down the street. Their cries of 'EXTERMINATE' occasionally plagued the air.

"You mean, do I think _Amy's_ okay, right?" A smirking Mel replied.

"What's that look for then?" I replied, agitated that Amy had left me behind with Mel.

"Come on, Rory. You and I both know you're in love with her."

"Get real, Mel." I said turning away like I didn't care. I was really avoiding any scrutiny of my onset blush. Of course I care about her, but I'm not _in love_ with her. That would be ridiculous. We've known each other since grade school. She's the girl who walked in on me in my underwear because my mother was a saboteur/matchmaker. I couldn't be in love with her, she is my best friend.

"Rory, look." Mel's voice suddenly permeated through my thoughts. I stepped back towards the window, and joined her in the inspection of a Dalek-filled street. Except… it wasn't so full anymore. One by one, the Daleks were disappearing in a flash of blue light.

"They're leaving!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but is that a good thing, or a really bad thing?"

"What do you mean a bad thing? They. Are. Leaving."

"Without a reason? I doubt it. Remember: The Doctor said that they're the most feared creatures of the entire universe."

"Yeah, and who made him the expert? We don't even know who he is." This Doctor could stuff it for all I cared. What could he possibly know about alien races? He was a normal guy, same as me. He didn't exactly scream alien. Though I suspected he lived in the wrong era clothes-wise. Who wears tweed coats with bowties anymore?

"Rory, he's a time traveler. Based on Amy's recollections, he has not changed since the day she first met him. He hasn't aged."

"Maybe he's just a shut-in. Maybe he never lets the sun touch his skin, and rubs essence of almond into his skin every night before bed. There is no way he time traveled from Amy's seven-year-old bedroom to our current ten-years-later problem."  
"I think someone's a bit jealous."

"Mel, if you were a guy, I would punch you in the face." I knew she was right. Who was this Doctor guy, and why was he with Amy instead of me?

"Rory, we both know you have as good a chance at hitting me in the face as you do landing in the top forty rock hits with your 'band'."

"Occupants of planet Earth, we are the Daleks."

"Did you hear that?" I asked, spinning away from the window. Mel nodded, and gestured to the family room. I followed her, and discovered the TV had switched itself on.

"Your measly existence is about to mean something. We are the most supreme race of all the galaxies, and you have been selected to be our servants. Do not leave your places of residence, or you will be exterminated. That is all." The TV switched off and the room was stark silent. The absence of alien voices shouting on the street puncturing whatever delusion of safety had been left.

"Still think there's nothing to worry about?" Mel chastised. No, currently all I could worry about was Amy. I hoped the Doctor knew what he was doing. If he got Amy killed… God, Amy. What have you gotten yourself into?


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A little Doctor/Amy bonding. Thought I would throw in the Doctor's sage advice, but he is pretty socially inept, so his advice is pretty weak. I hope you enjoy, and Chapter 7 is a work in progress. I'll just say so far, the Doctor has an achingly familiar plan, and there is some reminiscing in the next chapter by the Doctor just so you know. Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the TV show or the characters I just enjoy writing about them.

Chapter 6

"Do you even know where you're going?" I asked. I was slowly beginning to hate these white walls, and I hated their places of residence even more. The hospital's creepy atmosphere wasn't lessened by the Doctor's apparent lack of direction.

"Relatively." He was holding the sonic out in front of him, seemingly straining to hear its changing rhythms.

"So you and Rory then, eh?" He finally said after a long pause with the sonic as his only point of interest.

"Rory and I? Yeah, we're friends. All three of us are. Mel, Rory, and I." I wasn't sure why he had asked about Rory in particular.

"Oh my god. Are you gay?" _That would certainly explain your outfit_, I commented snidely to myself.

"Wha-no! Shut up." He said hurriedly.

"You know, I don't have any problem with homosexuality. That seems to be Rory's problem actually."

"Amy, Rory isn't gay."

"Of course he is. Like you would know. You've known him for what- maybe a half hour? And in passing at that."

"Amy, I'm just going to leave it at: he is not gay. Trust me." The Doctor winked and returned his focus to the sonic. We walked again in thick silence. Rory, not gay. The very notion was absurd. And how could the Doctor possibly know which team Rory swung for? He had known him for about a minute, and I-I had known Rory all of my life. Suddenly, the hallway we had been walking down turned into a corner. Before I could take another step forward, the Doctor put an arm out to stop me.

"Escaped? How have they escaped?" I froze. The icily metallic voice halted any future idea of movement. We had stumbled upon a Dalek. Two of them by the sound of it. I suppose it wasn't that odd to have run into one. We _were_ currently in their base for world takeover after all. This Dalek… it sounded different. There was no child-like uncertainty in its voice, unlike the mapper's had owned.

"Find. Them. Immediately." I heard the distinct sound of a Dalek turning away.

"This will not do. The whole point of 'human enslavement' was to draw him out. Now he is lost?" Again I heard the sound of a robot moving away. I waited a moment until I was sure we were alone before I turned towards the Doctor.

"They're after you?" The Doctor only nodded. He seemed intent on tinkering with a panel in the wall.

"But how do they know you?"

"I have fought them, many… many times before. I suppose they remember me."

"What are you doing with that panel?" He didn't reply for a moment. Then, a button appeared from the wall.

"I am bringing your friends to the party." He grinned and punched the button. There was another flash of blue light and my eyes closed reflexively.

"How did we get here?" A confused Mel inquired.

"I haven't the slightest clue." I said looking back-and-forth between the newly appeared Mel and Rory.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hey so sorry about the long wait. I lost all of the documents on my computer and was terrified that chapter 7 was a part of it. Luckily, it was not, and I have chapter eight already written. Chapter seven is pretty short, but I think chapter eight will more than make up for it. Please enjoy and remember: I do not own this show (unfortunately).

Chapter 7

"How did you bring them here?" I asked, twisting towards the Doctor. Well, I thought I was anyway. The Doctor had changed locations.

"Amy, I-"Rory began behind me. I shushed him and proceeded down the hallway the Doctor had undoubtedly traveled to. I walked a little faster, and I could hear Rory and Mel following me. After a few meters, the screeching sound of the Doctor's sonic filled the air. The Doctor was peering around another corner.

"Who knew hospitals could be so cavernous, eh?" I asked, hoping to startle him.

"Well, this area is for storage usually, and visitors don't ever see it…" He replied, his head still tucked behind the wall.

"And you know this because…?" I asked, tilting my head to the side, even though I knew he wasn't looking.

"Well several reasons actually. Most recently, a little trip to the moon and a blood-sucking alien. That was a close one." Aliens on the moon? Well, I suppose the concept wasn't _that_ hard to grasp.

"Wait, but what did that have to do with a hospital?"

"The whole hospital was on the moon of course. I had sensed something odd about the place, so I checked myself in. Good ol' Martha Jones. Most people would have screamed at the sound of two hearts."

"You have two hearts?" How could he have two? He _is_ human, isn't he?

"Well yeah, but between the two of us, lefty is way better than the other." He finally stepped so I could see his childish grin.

"You're not… human? But, you look human."

"No, you look Timelord. We came first. Now, luckily for us, there is no alert on our whereabouts. It is also a bad thing because I believe they are planning on luring us out."

"How about now? Do you have a plan now?"

"Yep." He spun into the next corridor and shouted. "Were you looking for me? Here I am!"

"Oh, not this again. Not much of a strategist, is he?" I moved to follow him, but before I could, a slot popped out of the wall and enveloped Rory, Mel, and then me.

"Doctor!" I yelled. I felt the noise ricochet off the walls, wherever the walls were.

"Please don't do that again." Mel groaned and I knew she had felt the reverberation too.

"Where's Rory?" I asked worriedly.

"Right here." I felt something touch my shoulder and squeeze it.

"How do we get out of this one?" Mel asked. I presumed the wriggling that occurred was her doing.

"I don't know. Stop-" Suddenly the space leaned all the way to the side, and light appeared at the top. We began to slide, bumping into each other unceremoniously as we did so. Finally, we plopped back down to the hallway where the Doctor had enacted his 'plan'. I stood up, rubbing my back where it had hit the unyielding tile.

"That was unpleasant," Rory remarked. He appeared to be clutching his back as well.

They're gone." Mel said. I assumed she was referring to the Doctor and the Daleks.

"That stupid man. What on earth has he done?" I wrung my hands together and pictured him. My raggedy Doctor. I didn't ever admit it, but the reason it took me so long to forget about the Doctor was: I cared about him. He appeared from the sky and listened to me about a crack in my wall. He was there for me at a time when I thought I had no one. It was him who had opened that panel, and I was going to find out why. Why would he care about me after leaving me for ten years? I fell asleep outside in the dead of night waiting for him. He didn't care then, why had he saved us now?


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So I'm pretty sure my regular upload day will be Thursday. If I don't stick to that don't yell at me, but it should be easier to considering I am almost finished with this school year. Anyway, enough with my rambling. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and I will see you next week (hopefully, fingers crossed). Disclaimer: Yada, yada, yada. I know I don't own anything. Quit rubbing it in. Oh, and one more thing. I don't know if changing my pen name will confuse you or what, but it is hollymariec0mbs now. I got tired of mbug1030.

Chapter 8

I ran to the panel on the wall, hoping the Doctor had left some sort of clue. I didn't know what to push. Instant solution, press buttons and don't stop at pressing buttons. It always seemed to work for the Doctor. After about a minute of fruitless button pressing a map appeared on the tiny screen next to the panel. The current position we were in read 'Lower Levels'. I pressed an arrow key and the map expanded to show the whole hospital.

"Where do you figure we go from here?" Mel asked as she peered over my shoulder.

"We're going to need some weapons." I smiled and zoomed in on Weapon Repairs & Replacements on the level above us.

* * *

"WHY ARE WE HERE AGAIN?" Mel shouted as we passed through a wind tunnel.

"WE NEED TO GET TO THE WEAPONS ROOM! I THOUGHT I MENTIONED!" I shouted back.

"YEAH, BUT WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS!" Rory shouted and then stumbled again. I shook my head and sighed. Of course I was serious. How else were we going to save the Doctor? We had to save him. And no, he is not my friend, I could care less what happens to him, but if I know one thing, we needed the Doctor if we were going to get out of this alive. We reached the last corner before the hallway containing the weapons room. I mouthed 'wait' to Mel and Rory, and slunk forward. I reached the doorway, and peered in. the room was barren save the aisles of weapons. I leaned back out of the door and motioned Mel and Rory forward. Mel nodded and ran towards me, pulling Rory along with her.

"So, no aliens in there, right?" Mel asked in her usual loud voice.

"Shush. No there are no Daleks in there right now, but that doesn't mean there aren't any on their way." I whispered hoarsely so it sounded like hissing.

"Well, sorry." She said putting her hands up and rolling her eyes. Thankfully, she had lowered her voice to match my whisper.

"Hate to interrupt you two, but what now?" Rory asked, tentatively stepping between Mel and me.

"Rory, watch the door. Mel and I will get us some weapons." I said, turning back towards the room.

"You should talk to her, you know." Mel whispered to Rory before following after Amy. Rory sighed and slid down the wall to a sitting position. He wrung his hands together and stared at them. _Why does she have to be so infuriating,_ he thought, _she is arrogant, bossy, rude, and… I think I'm in love with her._ Rory looked back at the door and sighed again. _Yeah, we really do need to talk._

* * *

"So, Rory seems pretty upset, any idea why?" I said, turning back to Mel. We were roaming through the surprisingly large weapons room, and had yet to find any human friendly ones.

"How am I supposed to know?" Mel replied, "Do I look like the Rory Williams whisperer?"

No, but you sounded like it a few minutes ago." I didn't hear what Mel had whispered in Rory's ear, but it was odd enough she had been whispering in his ear at all.

"I was just telling him to grow a pair, alright. Lay off." Mel quipped. I knew the conversation was over.

"Oh hey. These are very nice." I spotted a row of assault rifles on the wall. What do they need assault rifles for? I mean unless they have an army with actual han-

"Amy, could you take your gun please!" Mel shouted, effectively interrupting my musings. I took the gun and checked that it had ammo. I knew Mel could handle herself with these, but I was kind of afraid that Rory would shoot himself in the foot.

"Guys, we've got aliens incoming!" Rory shouted from outside.

"Great. You just had to yell, didn't you?"

"Well, so-rry! Maybe if someone hadn't been of in la-la land!" She said slinging the gun forward so the back rested on her shoulder. _God, Rory, I hope you had the common sense to hide_, I thought as the sounds of 'EXTERMINATE' grew closer and closer.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" There were about six of them, give or take a number. Mel and I immediately began firing. Our bullets had no effect unfortunately. They ricocheted of the Daleks and dropped to the ground. Then I remembered something the Doctor had rambled about earlier.

"Aim for the eyestalks!" I cried and adjusted my aim as well as I could. I'm a teenage girl, not an expert marksman.

"Right. No problem." Mel grunted, moving her aim as well. Then suddenly, the Daleks became quiet. They swiveled about and rolled out of the door in a single line.

"Where are they going in such a hurry?" I asked.

"Are you complaining?!" Mel panted and put her gun on the ground. She turned to me.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Yeah? And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Rory? You want to know why he's acting oddly? He loves you! God, Amy, you are so thick! He loves you!" I leaned against my gun on the ground, thoroughly convinced Mel was lying.

"But…Rory's… Rory's gay." Just then, Rory popped his head through the door.

"I- I got th-them to-go to another-level." He was panting heavily and his cheeks were red.

"What's going on in here?" He had finally caught his breath and was standing straighter. I looked at him, then at Mel. She rolled her eyes and slung her gun over her shoulder. She walked towards the door, passing Rory, and looked back. She smirked like she knew everyone's secret.

"Rory, I think we need to talk." I began.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Oh, sorry, guess it isn't Thursday. Well forgive me anyway. I hope this chapter is easy to follow. It switches to Mel's point of view, and I'm pretty sure you can pick up where. To be honest, I had no idea this was going to happen until it did. I promise I did not have this cliffhanger in mind. Should make for a great read I hope. Hope you enjoy, and I will try to update on time next week. But again: no promises. Disclaimer: I do not own this show or its characters.

Chapter 9

"So… What did you want to talk about?" Rory asked after a long period of silence.

"Do you love me?" I replied. A part of me knew the answer, but another part of me disagreed.

"Uh…" Rory's ears turned pink.

"Rory."

"Yes-yes, I love you." I nodded slowly. I picked up my gun and put the strap over a shoulder.

"Here." I picked up his gun and held it out to him, "Try not to hurt yourself."

"Uh… Thanks?" I knew he was confused, and I brushed it aside. There were things to do. Making sure the bullets were still in my pocket, I walked past Rory to the door. I stopped out in the hallway.

"Where's Mel?!"

* * *

"Oi, ease up will ya? If I wanted your whisk thing sticking into my spine I would have told you!" I sniped. Rory picked an excellent time to grow some balls. I was glad they were finally having their heart-to-heart, but I wondered when this Dalek and I would have ours. And by heart-to-heart, I mean my boot smashing its face in so hard it would want to exterminate itself.

"The human will do as she is told." The grating of the alien's voice released me from my reverie. Given my position in our relationship, whisk thing and gun vs. spine, I thought it wise to remain quiet. After a time of the Dalek pushing me down hallway upon hallway, we finally arrived at a door. I felt the metal dig into my back and I pushed the door open. Inside there was a hangar with several hundred Daleks, easily.

"You may proceed." The Dalek commanded. I walked forward into the hangar. A group of the aliens parted so I could pass. _Well_, I thought, _I guess what you don't have in hands you make up for in etiquette._

"Melody Pond." I stopped and the Dalek behind me retracted its whisk. No one knew that name. No one was _supposed_ to know that name. It took me a while, but I finally recognized the voice.

"Doctor?" I looked forward where the Doctor was standing by a Dalek. He didn't look like a prisoner.

"How do you know that name?" I yelled at him. "Do-do _they_ know?"

"Relax, Melody. Your parents are as clueless as these Daleks. And trust me, that is as clueless as it gets.

"Really? Because from where I'm standing, they've taken over this hospital, captured the two of us, and are about to take over the world. Not exactly the signs of incompetence."

"Please. They didn't capture me. I own them. And you they had help with."

"What do you mean, 'they had help'?"

"Well, from me of course."

"But why-"I was cut short as the Doctor began to change. I blinked and turned away. When I looked back, the Doctor was no longer standing beside the Dalek.

"Who are you?"

"Harold Saxon for most humans, but you-_you_ can call me the Master." He grinned.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Well, I'll tell you who you should thank for this chapter. Alright, then again, maybe I won't. I kind of needed a push. It was quite an effort I'll say, to turn this chapter out. I hope you guys can understand my need for constant change in POV. It keeps things moving. I think I had a little too much fun writing our good friend The Master. Also, I propose that the minute Amy became Rory's girlfriend, that he did indeed climb to the highest rooftop and scream the news to anyone who was willing to pay attention. Anyway, enough out of me, also known as: enjoy. Disclaimer: Not mine honestly. Moffat and his associates can keep Doctor Who. I don't have the experience to run a TV show.

Chapter 10

"Harold Saxon? Who the hell is that?"

"Why, Melody, such language! I would say your parents would be disappointed-but that redhead is as sailor-mouthed as they come, eh? By the way, that's _Mr._ Harold Saxon."

"So which is it? The Master or Harold Saxon? And where is The Doctor?"

"Patience, Miss Pond. Oh, that silly man. He thinks he's the best and the brightest-a real-life genius. If he's such a genius, tell me Melody, why wasn't he ever able to control these simple creatures?"

"Why would he want to? It's not like kitchen instruments are particularly threatening."

"Ah-but you see-this is the master race." The Master chuckled at his own pun and patted the nearest Dalek. "He has fought them so many times, yet they still come back. Always for him. The Doctor. The Predator. The Oncoming Storm. More like a small April shower if you ask me."

"Who _would_ ask you, eh? If you're so smart, how did three teenagers and a supposed idiot break into your fortress of eviltude, huh?"

"Melody, Melody, Melody. Haven't you figured it out by now? I let you break in! I let you see where everything is going to originate from. After today, after today the whole world will be kneeling at my feet and that bumbling, bowtie wearing, disgrace of a Time Lord will be my slave! Tell me, Melody, did regeneration hurt?" Suddenly, he pulled something out of his jacket, and a shot rang out. _Shit! Shit! He shot me! That terrible excuse for a Looney Toon shot me! Crazy homicidal bastard shot me! _ The Master came to Mel's side.

"I hope you enjoy your new body, Miss Pond. I would love to stick around for the show, but duty calls!" The Master disappeared from Mel's vision as she began to see gold light.

"Shit."

* * *

"Amy, I really think we should be running away from the Daleks, not straight to them!" Rory panted as he struggled to keep up with Amy's determined stride.

"Rory, I love you, but shut up and run! I am not leaving Mel behind, do you understand?!"

Rory stopped suddenly. _She loves me? What?_

"Rory! Keep up!" And just like that, they were once again flying through the maze of hallways, both desperately hopeful they would reach Mel in time. Also, one desperate to survive so he could tell the world Amelia Pond loved him.

* * *

His head hurt, and the edges of his vision were too blurry for comfort.

"Master, master of what, he'll never tell me." The Doctor grumbled. "Obviously not the master of subtlety." He stood and craned his neck to the illuminated hole above. Wincing, he returned his head to its normal position. From his jacket pocket he retrieved his favorite companion.

"Well, first you invade the entire planet with Daleks, and now you all but give me a written invitation to escape. I hope he doesn't think his intentions are invisible to me." The Doctor pointed the sonic screwdriver and it lit up, opening the door to his left without an issue.

"Enemies. Can't reason with them, can't change their love for power complexes." The Doctor sprinted for the door.

* * *

Melody stood and stretched her arm out.

"I like this body." She spun as she heard the doors open. In front of her were her parents and The Doctor. _Her_ Doctor.

"What's happening?! Doctor, what's happening?!" Amy looked at The Doctor.

"I'm regenerating," Mel said and smiled, "Hey, Doctor, watch my dad, will you? He looks like he's about to faint. Mum-"Mel was obscured by a sudden burst in the golden light.

"What?" Amy looked at where Mel had been standing.

"Doctor, I told you to watch him, I mean honestly, he faints for nothing. Mum, you look absolutely ridiculous with your mouth open like that."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hello again to all. Say it with me, in this chapter, it's Rory then Amy. It starts off with Rory's POV and switches at the line to Amy. I feel like this chapter isn't much, but I'm just happy I managed to write something. Anyway, don't mind me, enjoy my rather short chapter. Disclaimer: I still don't own this show or its characters. I'd have to have a fairly devious plot in order to secure the ownership, and I am not that clever.

Chapter 11

"Rory? Rory, wake up! Rory!" My eyes blinked open slowly. I was staring at the ceiling, wondering why the world looked like I was seeing it through warped plastic.

"Come on, up you get." Amy put her hand in mine and pulled me up.

"Amy? Wha-Ouch." I had made it to a sitting position and Amy was still holding my hand. I realized my palm was tingling. Well, actually, everything was tingling. It felt like last year's Christmas party that Mel, Amy, and I had. They both told me to take it slow on the eggnog, but about an hour in everything was warm and fuzzy around the edges. Wait, Mel. There was something happening, wasn't there? One thing at a time- wait did I just?

"Rory!" Amy punched me in the shoulder and looked away.

"Ugh. It was not on my bucket list to see my father get a hard-on for my mother just so you know." I looked to the source of the comment. Standing a short distance away was a middle-aged woman with the biggest hair I had ever seen.

"Amy? Where's Mel?" I had thought of as many old people I could in a short period of time, and I was once again appropriate to look at.

"That-that is Mel, I think." Amy sighed and yanked me to my feet. "At least, that's what she's telling us anyway. She knows all of the things Mel would know, but she's-she's not Mel."

"Long story short you two: I'm part him," 'Mel' said, gesturing to The Doctor, "Which means in order to cheat death, I can change into a different person."

"No-no no, that's not possible. How can she- how can _you_ be part Timelord? It's not possible, it's just not." The Doctor rambled and furiously scanned the big-haired woman with his sonic.

"Hang on- I still want to know why you called us-Rory and I, I mean-Mum and Dad? We are not your parents-I mean-we've never, I've never-" Amy stuttered helplessly.

"You are older than the both of us! Mel was anyway. Is she even Mel? Who is that woman, Doctor?" I shot The Doctor a desperate look. My head had started to pound, and I had to wonder if it was my head's rather recent introduction to the floor, or this 'Mel' business causing it. Probably a little bit of both.

"Yes, I know. It's all very weird and complicated, but like it or not, I am your daughter. You two got married and had a kid, and that's me." Mel gestured to herself. "Now, do any of you have a mirror? I want to see what you're all ogling at."

* * *

I felt pressure around my hand and glanced down. Rory had grabbed my hand sometime in the last few minutes, and with everything going on inside my head I hadn't noticed. I felt an overwhelming urge to pinch myself. There was no way any of this was real.

"Doctor? Explain, it's what you're good at." I pleaded with the time traveler. Brows furrowed, he turned to me and tapped his screwdriver against his hand.

"Well, she is Timelord that much is clear. As for the whole story about you and Rory being her parents, I'm stumped. The only explanation I can possibly think of is, she's not from this time period."

"It is a long and boring story, believe me. All you need to know is: I'm still the same person. I'm still Mel." Mel approached me, seeing me flinch, she stopped. She sighed.

"My full name is Melody Pond. Not Melody Williams. Mum-Amy, The Doctor always told me that my parents said Melody Williams is a school teacher. Melody Pond is a superhero." She paused and wrung her hands. "The Master, he shot me. I wouldn't have regenerated otherwise."

"So in other words-you would have never told us? Is that it? It doesn't make any sense! How can I be your mother? I would be a terrible mother. It's not like I have any mother figures to draw from!" I wrenched my hand from Rory's and approached Mel. "How are you my daughter?"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: So, I know it's been a while, and the straightforward reason for that is complete lack of ideas. I can't promise you'll enjoy this, but I think the interaction between Mel and The Doctor is priceless. This chapter has an objective POV, hope you guys are cool with that. If you feel inclined to tell me what you think I will not be the least bit offended. Thanks for the follows guys. Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

Chapter 12

"Mum, I realize this all may be a bit too much for you, so I strongly suggest that you sit down before you fall down, as you and I both know that is dear ol' Dad's job." Mel directed Amy to a nearby chair.

"So, Doctor, you're Mr. Plan, right? What are we going to do about this bastard-The Master I mean?" The Doctor was still wondering how this woman had come to be. _She definitely knows me_, he thought, _but how_?

"Hello, earth to Doctor, I'm not losing you to the floor too am I?" Mel snapped her fingers in front of the dazed Doctor.

"Oh! What? No, of course not. As for The Master, it's a work in progress. First, I think, we need to get out of this hospital." The Doctor paused for a minute, and tapped his screwdriver on his thigh.

"You don't think he's coming back here?" Mel inquired.

"No, no I don't. I mean a hospital, dramatic, but not dramatic enough for him. While currently I am not entirely sure where he's headed or what he's up to with those pitiful excuses for aliens, I do know someone who can help us out. That is, if they still live around here. I can't seem to remember what I've done with the TARDIS." The Doctor paced for a moment trying to pull up the smallest shred of detail about his beloved box.

"Do you still have the key in your right coat pocket?" Mel interrupted, fairly certain the man had once again forgotten where he kept the only way to home in on the box's location.

"Right coat pocket, what?" The Doctor rummaged in his coat and came out with a key in hand. He stared down at it in a look of utter bewilderment.

"Oh, just give it to me already!" Impatiently, Mel snatched the key from his hand and studied for a moment.

* * *

"Uh, Mel, where are we?" The Doctor stood up and dusted himself off. "And how did we get here?" The questions peeved him because he was the one who usually received and answered them.

"Well," She helped Amy-who had remained silent through the entire previous exchange an unexplained voyage-up. "I see you still fail to retain that simple bit of knowledge. You think it's your own ego? Forget the failsafe so you can impress some poor bystander," she gestured to Amy, "With some convoluted plan sprung from your boundless ingenuity? If so, absolutely foolproof, if you weren't such a fool yourself." Mel flung the key back to The Doctor and gestured for him to turn around. They were in someone's backyard, surely, and there sat the TARDIS, plain as the picket fence surrounding it.

"Ah, yes. And what failsafe are we currently speaking of, because we could be talking about any number of my ingenious backups-"

"Don't even try to play this off, sweetie, you and I both know that you have the recollection skills of a gnat." She walked to the TARDIS and rested a hand on its doors. They swung open and Mel glanced back, obviously pleased with herself. "Mum, come on inside, you'll love it, I promise." Amy quickly obliged, having recovered from her previous paralysis and feeling wholeheartedly embarrassed about the whole thing. Rory shrugged and passed The Doctor to enter the TARDIS as well. The Doctor heard Mel's smug tone emanate out of the blue doors.

"Go ahead and say it, everyone does."

"It's bigger on the inside!" Mel stuck her head back out the doors and addressed the moping Timelord.

"Oh, come on already! This is not the last time I will outdo you, Doctor, so you would do well to get used to it. Plus, we've got shit to do!" The Doctor sighed exasperatedly. Part Timelord or not, Amy's daughter or not, the bigger on the inside thing, it was _his_ thing. _Damn this woman_, he grumbled internally.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: So it is really easy to guess who the friend is. I'm sorry if you guys are tired of the Mel-Doctor banter, but I love the dynamic so much I had to add more. Feel free to tell me who you think the friend is, and I'll see you around. Disclaimer: Do you really think I could write characters like these? I have the character development skills of a lemon.

Chapter 13

"Come on, just let me fly her!"

"Mel, I do not care if you _founded_ the Timelord race, this is my TARDIS, and I will fly her!" The Doctor tried to remind himself that she was just curious. _She probably couldn't fly it if she tried_, he thought smugly.

"Fine, fine. You don't have to be so touchy." Mel raised her hands defensively and backed away from the console. "Just please don't leave the brakes on this time. That noise-"Mel cringed.

"Brakes? Those are not the brakes, that's just her sound." The Doctor affectionately patted one of the monitors.

"Oh gross, do you and the TARDIS need a moment alone, Doctor?"

"What?!" He retracted his hand like it had been burned and scowled. "Of course not!"

"Could have fooled me." Mel said under her breath.

"Hate to break this up, because you two are obviously very invested in this banter, but where are we going exactly?" Amy had regained her voice and was looking pointedly at Mel and The Doctor.

"I told you, I think I know someone who can help us, he probably misses all this alien action anyway." The doctor grinned and gestured to the TARDIS-but to those present, he appeared to be gesturing to himself.

"Ugh, Doctor, we don't need to hear about your male lovers-"Mel and Amy proclaimed at the same time. Amy and Mel stared at each other.

"God, it's like having two Amys! We _do not_ need two Amys!" The Doctor exclaimed, shaking his head.

"Well, actually-"Rory started only to be cut off by Amy's open hand colliding with his face.

"Rory!" She scolded.

"Sorry," Rory mumbled, but then continued almost inaudibly, "I'm really _not_ sorry though."

"Well, it seems we've managed to get way off topic yet again," Mel started, glancing at her parents, "I believe Amy asked a question, Doctor?"

"Ah… yes. Like I said, we are on our way to recruit an old friend." The end of his reply was punctuated by the TARDIS's signature landing call.

"Um, Doctor-"Mel began. Paying Mel little attention, The Doctor made his way to the doors, and shoved them open with a smug smile.

"I hope he doesn't mind our intrusion-"The Doctor said. Mel sighed resignedly.

* * *

The old man hummed as he walked down the sidewalk. It was nearly Christmas, his favorite holiday. Not for the stuffed shops and gifts, but for a very extraterrestrial reason. Noticing his neighbors' lights he reminded himself that he would need to put his own up some time today. He had reached the front door to his home and he nudged it open.

"Dad!" The man sighed. No doubt the woman wanted him to try yet another Christmas dinner recipe. It was probably something toe-curling like tofu plum stew, or spinach olive pudding. All of the recipes were horrific, but he didn't have the heart to tell his daughter that.

"Sorry, can't! I'm old you know, have to clear the bowels!" The man rushed for the bathroom. After he had sat down he began to hear an all too familiar noise.

"Long time no see, but here of all places? Still as socially stunted as ever I see." The man watched the blue doors open.

* * *

Amy averted her eyes, and Rory turned green.

"Doctor, really?"

"What?" He glanced out the doors, "Oh!" He slammed them shut and stood back.

"Told you I should have flown her." Mel smirked.


End file.
